So much had happened since the previous post... well, had been preparing performance for PHS Open House. reaching home late and all... resulting in sleeping late so in the end can't concentrate during lessons. Although it's over, there are still many things that needs to be done like CCA camp, CIP, CCA matters etc... So stop asking me to play can?
Results coming back tomorrow. Very scared but then it's already over... I just hope to be able to get promoted then chiong from now on. *sigh* Guo Dong, stop saying that you're scared that you'll retain... If you retain, probably the whole class except Daniel will retain or expelled... will post back the good new tomorrow... So if it's bad news i wouldn't even have the mood to post...
So that means that today is the last day i can enjoy? However, I'm pretty upset, worried over a lot of stuff lah... then busy with stuff too... argh!! Father, please help me through. Before the results come, we want to get it back as soon as possible. When it's so near the result release, I rather not get it back for fear of failing to be promoted... Better stop talking abt it.
Why do people always ask me to share present for so-and-so's birthday and I never ever get from anyone? well, except for Uths who bought me Birthday presents and celebrated it with me last year. That's the first time anyone other than my family ever celebrated my birhtday with me. There was even 1 year, maybe more than that, that my dad actually banned any celebration for my birthday. That year I was very touched cause my mum bought a mini cake for me so that my dad will not find out. Why do bad things always come to me and i'm treated though i don't belong here?
If you know that this part is meant for you, well, I suppose you won't visit my blog also lah so other readers just skip this part. Anyway I feel deceived for like so long... (maybe just 1 or 2 weeks) but why must you hide or these and bottle it up? Do you not trust me or is it just that... well... I better not say... Only if i had my sound system on everytime i visit, I would have realised it earlier. So it's also my fault for not realising it earlier. I really don't know what to say or do. There are so many times I had to choose between should i adopt this option? what's going to happen if i did this or that? Am I really able to do that? etc... I really don'y know lah... I suppose I'm... well... Forget it... ARGH!!! My life's probably just worthless lah... I should never expect good things to happen to me and maybe i will not from now on. Why am I helping or more concerned about others when I'm not doing so for myself? Is it worthed?
I should probably be a loner again? just dunno what to do lah. Till now, there's only 1 friend who i can tell everything to but then he is in NS now... sometimes it's also that i don't really wish to say out cause accidents do happen... I really don't know who i am... why do i trust people easily and do not trust people easily? is it because I've been betrayed and being used for too many times? why when i try to get people's recognition, I end up being used while nothing ever happened to those who don't even need to try? Do we really reap what we sow? do we really get treated the way we treat others? (do what you want others to do onto you) I remember that's the teachings back in PHS and Mrs Tan always tells us that. But then why do i not get back the same treatment? why do people make fun of others when they do not make fun of any other people? why do people become the topic of gossips when they do not gossip about others? Where's the true freedom and justice? Do the world need another great flood? Father, please guide me through and enlighten me. I know that I'm not a good Christian but I really want to ask for your forgiveness and help me with it.
2:53 PM ; smile'
thePROFILE;
People don't know me like they think they do
theLOVE;
Still her
theHATE;
-
theWISH;
World Peace
We will never be separated
Do well in studies for both of us
Maybe I still want to try NTT?
