Wednesday, November 29, 2006
English:
Shaded by the trees, calling out to the wind, I'm lying face-down crying
I saw a version of myself I didn't even recognize
On this guitar I'm playing the melody of someone who's passed on
A star falls in the grief of someone who'll never be seen again
Please don't go, no matter how much you scream,
all it will do is quietly stir these orange petals
Saved on my soft brow,
I send the memories in my palm far away
An eternal farewell as I keep strumming
The heart of a child clinging to a gentle hand
The blazing wheels cast it off and continue on
On this guitar I'm playing the grief of someone who's passed on
The strings in my heart being plucked at violently
In the pure white unstained by sorrow,
the orange petals stirred in a summer shadow
Even if my soft brow is lost,
I'll cross over the far off, red-stained sand
The rhythm of farewell
Branded into my memories, on the ever-turning earth,
there is something sprouting in remembrance
Sending off the dawn's carriage
Those orange petals are stirring somewhere even now
The peaceful daybreak I once saw
Until it is placed in my hands once more,
please don't let the light go out
The wheels are turning
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Japanese
Kazesasou kokage ni utsubusete naiteru
Mi mo shiranu watashi wo watashi ga miteita
Yuku hito no shirabe wo kanaderu GITAARA
Konu hito no nageki ni hoshi ha ochite
Yukanaide, donna ni sakende mo
ORENJI no hanabira shizuka ni yureru dake
Yawarakana hitai ni nokosareta
Te no hira no kioku haruka
Tokoshie no sayonara tsuma hiku
Yasashii te ni sugaru kodomo no kokoro wo
Moesakaru kuruma ha furiharai susumu
Yuku hito no nageki wo kanadete GITAARA
Mune no ito hageshiku kakinarashite
Aa kanashimi ni somaranai shirosa de
ORENJI no hanabira yureteta natsu no kage ni
Yawarakana hitai wo nakushite mo
Akaku someta suna haruka koete yuku
Sayonara no RIZUMU
Omoide wo yakitsukushite susumu daichi ni
Natsukashiku me fuite yuku mono ga aru no
Akatsuki no kuruma wo miokutte
ORENJI no hanabira yureteru ima mo dokoka
Itsuka mita yasurakana yoake wo
Mou ichido te ni suru made
Kesanaide tomoshibi
Kuruma ha mawaru yo
4:14 PM ; smile'
well, how to say? went to work for the "first time"? actually not say no experience lah, cause i teach my sister before also mah... anyway, was quite blur lah... the kids dun really listen to me 1... then there are certain situations i dunno how to handle like quarrel, bullying, and some other conflicts etc...
Hope I can gain more experience through this... (27 Nov happenings)
I very blur... i saved the sms i wanted to send to the teacher to inform her that i'll be free tomorrow but i thought i had sent it to her already... and i reaslised it at 11pm++... haiz... when can i be more alert?
3:58 PM ; smile'
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Holiday and no holiday is the same lah... need to prepare for the block test when school reopens (promos for me) I took up some part-time job. (during 1 tuesday, I heard the chinese service sisters praying and asking God to like bring 2 teachers like that cause they lack of teachers. so i felt that God is hinting me too so i told Uncle Morgan that I'll be able to take it for monday, wednesday and friday. Then I realised that my whole holiday is gone... tuesday and thursday is for research. weekends for cell and service... i only have night to study... how can? I pray that God will show me the way which is best for me and to contantly remind me not to be infront of the computer.
but these few days i had been sleeping to recover from my illness... very weird, my fever 1 day come 1 day go 1...
then monday i didn't teach the cadets much lah. just tried to instill confidence in them when doing pattern 4. then first day work got MC already... was sick since friday... appetite no change. only that i slept a lot... probably due to cumulative exhaustion... then parents not around... do you know how difficult it is to cope... my bro dun do housework and that means i have to do everything myself... please lah, i'm sick... and my condition worsened and that time i doubted again...
overslept and was very late for tuesday prayer service. haiz... then ate medicine without dinner. had some weird feeling on the way so i bought bread... but the person like overcharged... the bread is $1 each and donut is $0.80 but i was charged $3.20... Was in a hurry so didn't go and argue. dun feel like arguing also.. haiz...
Hope that i can recover soon. Parents coming back soon. finally can have ppl to take care of me... haha... but sure get scolding cause i didn't clean the house... need to help my sister to get her PSLE result also... hope she can get to some good school (express stream) my bro and I wanted her to get to girls' school but think can't lah. haha... but hopefully can lah...
5:14 PM ; smile'
Been some time already. Well, Thank God that i'm provisionally advanced. Meaning i have to take another promos when school reopens lah. and must pass...
Thank God for many other things. like giving me the strength to continue with both the flyer distribution as well as the fund-raising activities. I was sick lah... sweated like nobody's business... Hopefully I did not pass the virus to anyone.
Thank God too and Uncle Morgan, and Mr Tan for Monday. That day I had to go back to PHS to take the cadets for Taiwanese Drills training. Thank Mr Tan for understanding that I am not able to last through the whole session and agreed to allow me to give early dismissal. He told me that I don't look well also. Then I received a call from Uncle Morgan. (I smsed him earlier in the morning telling him that i was sick and might not be able to work.) I told him about my condition and since he asked where I was, I told him lah. And he offered to drive me to the polyclinic. Unfortunately, the queue was so long and I started to doubt especially when they keep jumping away from my queue number especially at the pharmacy. I was the next and they jumped... But thinking on the other side, maybe God is trying to tell me that I shouldn't go to work probably because my condition might worsen/I might not be able to take it/(worst) I'll spread the virus.
I felt guilty also cause I think he arranged it such that I would be able to get the place but then, first day of work i got MC... And i was blur enough to not ask the doctor whether I was suitable for work and i didn't ask abt my body temperature. Thank Uncle Morgan for letting me rest but I still felt very guilty.
Tuesday science research was suppose to be 1 whole day. Thank God that my teacher was willing to let us leave early. I was so foolish to get fast-food for lunch. I shouldn't have gotten the cold drink lah... It some how made me feel worse. (dun want to waste so just finish it all) Then slept at abt 3+. first time woke up (i forgot why) second time cause Uncle Morgan Called. I didn't manage to answer the call. Was so tired that i didn't call back. third time was the alarm i've set. But again, i was tired and went back to sleep. Unfortunately, I overslept and was late for prayer meeting. Today I finally felt how it's like to be overwhelmed by the Holy Spirit or should i rephrase. However, maybe it's the first time and i dunno what to do lah. I didn't lose conscienceness though. there are many things i'm uncertain of. like: what should i be thinking of, how it should be like, am I ready?, when is it right that i should be 'awaken'?
After the feeling was gone, I 'woke' up. if not then stay there until tomorrow meh? Didn't have any enlightenment or such but i have a lot of burning questions.
Few days ago (or weeks), I seemed to hear voices and i know it's not me cause i was thinking abt some stuff and the voice came. It came in two different occasions. cause i was having quiet time. Was off-track also i think cause i began to other stuff. Maybe that's already like talking to God?
Back to the subject, even though i heard the voice, I wasn't used to it so i somehow like "Huh, what?" and the voice didn't return and the sentence wasn't even complete. both occasions also the same. maybe is i really off-track till i fell asleep? i also dunno. hmm...
4:55 PM ; smile'
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
OP tomorrow yet i'm not sleeping yet... didn't memorise the script or anything but i'll believe in God who'll grant me confidence and strength to go through the examination.
Promo results coming soon. though i feel that i didn't make it through, i'll see pray to God about it and hope for the good side of things.
3:01 PM ; smile'
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Finally... my blogskin had changed... but entries quite difficult to scroll and the font colour for the heading is not contrasting. sry abt that... will try to fix if possible...
3:25 PM ; smile'
Saturday, November 04, 2006
well... today's paper is can be said to be both difficult and easy... well, for paper part 1, i wrote about 1000 words but i didn't have enough time to check the dictionary for word check... (shouldn't have gone to the toilet...) I think my story did not meet the story requirement... but i added a conclusion to try to meet the question requirement... haiz...
Paper part 2 was erm, basically, i did all those passages before... rejoice? well, that's where the problem comes in... I was doing it using memory so it was risky... especially the 2 choose 1 (i was left with 2 options after selecting the nearest answers)
Should have read through all the papers which i did b4... like that sure can get A if i memorise all the answers... haiz...
12:24 PM ; smile'
Friday, November 03, 2006
Tomorrow is the H1 Chinese national Exams yet i did not do any preparations... Was playing PS this whole afternoon and now in front of the computer... goint to do I&R soon...
Too many things to decide and think abt. should i just abandon all these to run away from all these troubles?
12:22 PM ; smile'
